Funny Signs

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Sign on an electrician's truck:Let us remove your shorts.
Maternity Clothes Shop:We are open on labor day.
Non-smoking area:If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.
On a Maternity Room Door:Push, Push, Push"
On a Front Door:Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog.
Optometrist's Office:If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.
Scientist's Door:Gone Fission
Taxidermist Window:We really know our stuff.
Podiatrist's Window:Time wounds all heels.
Butcher's window:Let me meat your needs.
Used Car Lot:Second Hand cars in first crash condition
Sign on Fence:Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive."
Car Dealership:The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.
Muffler Shop:No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming.
Hotel:Help!" We need inn - experienced people.
Butcher's Window:Pleased to meat you.
Auto Body Shop:May we have the next dents?
Sign in an office:We shoot every 3rd salesman,and the 2nd one just left.
Veterinarians Waiting Room:Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!
The Electric Company:We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be.
Beauty Shop:Dye now!
Garbage Truck:We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
Computer Store:Out for a quick byte
Diner Window:Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up.
Bowling Alley:Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop.
Cafeteria:Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want.
Music Library:Bach in a minuet.
Funeral Home:Drive carefully, we'll wait.

MJB's, Ellicott City MD
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