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March 22, 1998
Dear Family and Friends,
Terri and I have some news to report to you that we hope you'll come to realize is truely good news. After a year and a half of marriage, we have both come to the firm conclusion that our relationship would improve if we could return it to its prior status. We are very compatible as friends, but our individual personalities don't lend themselves well towards maintaining a healthy relationship while satisfying the social responsibilities of marriage. On the surface we appear to be very compatible, but deep down our philosophies on life differ enough to prevent us from continuing to maintain a happy and healthy marriage. For the past year we experienced frustration and worry about our individual futures and now feel that the only way to continue to be good friends is to become unmarried. (The term divorce seems negative.) We view this as a new beginning for the both of us.
We would be completely excited about this change if not for its impact on Jimmie. We both love him very much and we plan to take every step to continue our individuals relationships with him. Right now that means that we will continue our current living arrangements, but will begin working on our independent futures. We hope that Terri can save enough money to afford a house nearby and thus minimize the impact on Jimmie. We don't want him to leave his friends and we want to make it easy for him to visit his current home and "Mr. Tom" anytime he desires.
While we are going through this process, you may see one or both of us beginning new relationships. Hopefully with this background knowledge it will be clear that what we are doing is indeed a positive step. (Don't worry, you will not have to choose which one of us to invite to parties or social gatherings. As many of you know, we are not jealous people.)
We hope that you don't attempt to judge this transition or take sides. We have come to this realization together and thus it is unfair to blame one or the other of us for this change. To us what is most important is our individual relationships, not whether or not we are married. Eventually we each will find the kind of relationship that best fulfills our individual needs. Thanks for your compassion and understanding as we make this transition.
Sincerely,
Terri and Duff